Missing the past things,
Like holding sand.
It slips away,
Before we understand.
I miss so much,
All I had.
My life,
It made me glad.
so I reach to touch it,
Memories so true.
Holding the sand,
Is what i do.
Maybe its natural,
To weep for the gone.
Or is it not,
The past too long.
Hold it graps it,
Is it true.
I cant let go,
In all I do.
Things to remind me,
Yes it was real.
Saddness shows it,
And I can feel.
I'm alive yes I am,
When I miss it all ways.
Will miss it,
All of my days.
But like grains,
Of the sand.
I can not keep it,
In my hand.
Holly Johnson @ 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Lesson of Letting Go 12/11/2011
A lesson new,
Just let go.
Things in my life,
It is so.
To God to will,
We cant hold on.
Let go now,
Till it is gone.
Disappointments come,
Friends drop me.
It has taken this long,
To finally see.
Thats life it happens,
Crumbling all around my sight.
It might not be natural,
Doesn't feel right.
But to have the peace,
I wish I had.
I must let go,
Even when I'm sad.
Times of trouble,
While I weep.
For things I,
Can no longer keep.
I keep going,
Sailing along.
Letting go,
Till its gone.
I can fight it,
Keep it a while.
Till the next,
Painful mile.
Or as bad comes,
Shrug and say.
It wasnt actually,
Mine anyway.
Holly Johnson @ 2011
Just let go.
Things in my life,
It is so.
To God to will,
We cant hold on.
Let go now,
Till it is gone.
Disappointments come,
Friends drop me.
It has taken this long,
To finally see.
Thats life it happens,
Crumbling all around my sight.
It might not be natural,
Doesn't feel right.
But to have the peace,
I wish I had.
I must let go,
Even when I'm sad.
Times of trouble,
While I weep.
For things I,
Can no longer keep.
I keep going,
Sailing along.
Letting go,
Till its gone.
I can fight it,
Keep it a while.
Till the next,
Painful mile.
Or as bad comes,
Shrug and say.
It wasnt actually,
Mine anyway.
Holly Johnson @ 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Take Your Hand
You have asked me again,
To take Your hand.
But I tremble too much,
Don't know if I can.
You say trust Me,
With all your heart.
But I'm so afraid,
Falling apart.
You say all things,
Will pass away.
I know it's not forever,
It won't stay.
You ask me to believe,
It will all work out.
But all I can do,
Is cry and doubt.
You say I'm Your child,
And You love me.
But these tear filled eyes,
Can not see.
You ask me to just,
Reach up my hand.
Finally trembling,
I understand.
Holly Johnson @ 2011 09.04.11
To take Your hand.
But I tremble too much,
Don't know if I can.
You say trust Me,
With all your heart.
But I'm so afraid,
Falling apart.
You say all things,
Will pass away.
I know it's not forever,
It won't stay.
You ask me to believe,
It will all work out.
But all I can do,
Is cry and doubt.
You say I'm Your child,
And You love me.
But these tear filled eyes,
Can not see.
You ask me to just,
Reach up my hand.
Finally trembling,
I understand.
Holly Johnson @ 2011 09.04.11
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
5 Years Grandma :(
05/10/11
5 years ago,
You left us here.
I cant stop mourning,
And shedding a tear.
I know we'll see you,
One day soon again.
But in 5 years gone,
As if time will end.
The pain I feel,
No joy there.
My sadness broken heart,
It's not fair.
I want to be happy,
You're pain free.
But grandma please,
You was taken from me.
I never imagined,
How the world would change.
I'm so different,
Almost strange.
Yet this feeling remains,
I don't care.
Life is truly,
Just not fair.
God will hold you,
Till we reunite.
Even if its not too soon,
Its alright.
I've reached to,
The one I miss so much.
But as always,
You're too far away to touch.
Copy @ Holly Johnson 2011
5 years ago,
You left us here.
I cant stop mourning,
And shedding a tear.
I know we'll see you,
One day soon again.
But in 5 years gone,
As if time will end.
The pain I feel,
No joy there.
My sadness broken heart,
It's not fair.
I want to be happy,
You're pain free.
But grandma please,
You was taken from me.
I never imagined,
How the world would change.
I'm so different,
Almost strange.
Yet this feeling remains,
I don't care.
Life is truly,
Just not fair.
God will hold you,
Till we reunite.
Even if its not too soon,
Its alright.
I've reached to,
The one I miss so much.
But as always,
You're too far away to touch.
Copy @ Holly Johnson 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
From my myspace...
Due to the fact I dont know if myspace will be around forever these are all the poems from my myspace page:
ENJOY!!
____________________________________________________________________________
REACHED FOR YOU
I've reached out to touch it,
To hold it to my heart.
That which I still miss,
Makes me fall apart.
I was reminded today,
How again I do recall.
My grandma I love,
And miss most of all.
I find a piece of her,
Again it broke my heart.
This thing that I reached for,
Made me fall apart.
I love you so much,
Want to touch you again.
When will my true mourning,
Ever come to an end?
Will I always reach,
For you there now gone?
As if dear grandma,
You were there all along?
I love you I love you,
As I put down my hand.
To reach for you again,
Few can understand.
Holly Johnson@ 2008 3.01.08 --dedicated to my grandma died May 10th 2006
____________________________________________________________________________
I Fall
I try to get up,
But I just fall.
God do you hear me,
When I call?
Why does bad,
Seem to slap my face?
I thought I was living,
In Gods grace!
I sit here wondering,
Why the world is bleak?
Even if at night,
God I do seek.
I dont understand,
Did you not lead the way?
Why then again,
Does bad come again today?
I do not understand,
Why evil does come?
I try to get up,
I thought it was done.
But here I sit,
Knocked again to the ground.
It seems latelly,
This is where I am always found.
Sitting here wondering,
Why God does not hear.
I try to trust Him,
And draw near.
But problems come,
No good does follow.
I dont feel Gods love,
I feel hollow.
I cant understand it,
This life He allows me to lead.
If God You will not,
Grow the plants You seed.
I sit here waiting,
To try again.
Wondering when,
My tumbles will end.
I fall down slowly,
Or fast with time.
Wondering why,
These problems are mine.
I cant seem to find a way,
To stay in place.
Or to get back in,
Gods good grace.
Maybe I am still there,
Shouting God did you leave?
Not knowing it was when I realized this,
I did receive.
God please come,
Here my cry.
Dont let the problems,
Pass me by.
For if I fall,
And You do come instead.
I will lead a life,
Not so full of dread.
I beg you now,
Father do hear.
Please see me now,
As I once again shed a tear.
Holly Johnson @ 2007 10.13.07
____________________________________________________________________________
Should I Be?
NOTE AT END!!!!!
Should I Be Happy
You walk streets of gold
Or so I read in the bible
And others have told
Should I be glad
You arent in pain
Even if loosing you
Left me never the same
Should I be rejoicing
You are with those gone before
You see all we cant see
And all that is instore
Should I be smiling
You are in a better place
Even if by loosing you
I long to see your face
Should I be jumping for joy
Knowing you are celebrating there
Even if right now I still think
Loosing you wasnt fair
Should I be laughing now
Knowning you arent sad
Why then do I still feel
Ever not so glad
Should I be happy now
Should I be smiling cheek to cheek
No I am not doing this
Its my sorrow that I seek
For I know in heaven God
She is there with You
But I miss her truly
No matter what I go through
I cant be happy now
I cant smile with glee
I still recall that
My grandma left me
I cant be happy yet
Though sorrow seems to hold me tight
I wish I could see her again
Any given night
Please God take care of her
I love her so very much
Miss her I do truly
The grandma I can no longer touch
Holly Johnson @ 2007 9.28.07
NOTE: My grandma died May 10, 2006 and her birthday would have been tomorrow/today September 29th she should have been 94 yrs old. I still miss her every day and these two dates always affect me the most!!
____________________________________________________________________________
It Happened One Tuesday (911 6 yrs later)
It happened on a Tuesday
Just 6 yrs ago go by
But even now the numbers 9/11
Could make anyone cry
For who can forgot those images
As the towers did fall
When the pentagon was hit
It affected us all
Our nation did stop
When the terrorist hit
Soil on our land
Where the towers did sit
But we knew we could survive
The terrorist didnt take what we are
Even today you dont
Have to look too far
We are strong we are bold
And as a nation we stand
As we recall 6yrs ago one Tuesday
When terrorist hit us on our land
God bless America
Never forget that day
It happened one Tuesday
When they tried to take our spirit away
Holly Johnson @ 2007 9.11.07
____________________________________________________________________________
Do You Hear Me?
All is bad
I do not understand
Why is my life
A big batch of quicksand
God are you there
Why do you not reply
Do you even care
That I cant do nothing by cry
Why is life hard now
Is this a path of dispair
God do you hear me
Its so unfair
Nothing is right
All is gone bad
Cant I have happy
I am just so sad
God I am upset
Because You seem to have led
Now nothing is right
We have suffering instead
Or is this a sign
That we are on the right way
And you will help us soon
One soon day
I dont know which it is
Or what is to be
I cant believe that
You dont hear me
All is gone a wrong
I am crying so bad
My heart is breaking
I just cant be glad
Where is the happiness
Why is it bleak
This is a problem
That I do seek
God are You there
Why do You not reply
Nothing is good
Days gone by
Please help me now
I am confused as can be
God please let me know
That you still hear me
____________________________________________________________________________
Why Look Down?
Why when I'm sad,
Do I look down?
As if the answers,
Can be found on the ground.
When instead I should,
Look to God above.
Keep my eyes on Jesus,
My Savior that I love.
When it matters most,
I'm filled with dread.
I need to not worry,
Trust in God instead.
Its so easy to say,
God I trust You.
But when times are bad,
It's not what I do.
Look down,
Why do I do that?
The ground isn't where,
My answers are at.
I sit and I question,
Life that I live.
Sometimes I think,
How does God forgive?
I keep falling,
Look down at my feet.
Instead of looking at the ground,
I think of defeat.
God wants me to,
Look to Him always.
To trust Him,
The rest of my days.
Please God I now pray,
As trouble comes once more.
Let me look to You,
And not at the floor.
Holly Johnson @ 2007 7.24.07
____________________________________________________________________________
I'm a Mess!
I'm far from perfect,
Can you still use me?
A broken sinful person,
Who You made free.
How can I love God,
Be used in life.
When I still sin sometimes,
And give into worry and strife.
I'm a messed up person,
Who has no pride.
God knows this all,
I have nothing to hide.
I hate how I am,
Why can't I be whole.
I want to say,
Jesus is lover of my soul.
But I'm a mess,
I have a long way to go.
How long it will take,
Only God does know.
All I know is this,
I'm still a mess.
So I'll try to trust God again,
Let Him do the rest.
For in this life of confusion,
Being a Christian is an art.
Its working till we get to heaven,
And having the right heart.
So though I am a mess,
I've admitted it true.
I shall still try to trust God,
In all that I do.
God help me,
Help me be like Your Son.
I believe You shall finish,
What in me You have begun.
Because I trust the God who sees tomorrow,
Thinks only good things for me.
I am a mess,
But You've set me free.
Help me always, Lord.
To keep my eyes on You.
And trust You with all my heart,
No matter what I go through.
Holly Johnson @ 2007 6.23.07
____________________________________________________________________________
In Prayer
God You see it all,
From heaven on high.
My problems are nothing,
You see me cry.
How could I forget,
Its in Your hand.
Even if now,
I can't understand.
You are God,
I am not.
Be still before You now,
No matter what.
I need to realize,
How what I see.
Is not the end,
Of what You do in me.
Please keep me humble,
As I now pray.
Help me to be closer to You,
Every single day.
And know that,
You're in control.
Jesus You are,
The lover of my soul.
Life got me down,
Confused as I did pray.
I didnt think,
You could make a way.
But Father God,
My problems end to end.
You are in control,
Cause You're my Father & friend.
I need to not question,
That this will pass.
And my dreams,
Will come true at last.
Make You number one,
Seek You with all my heart.
Do trust You,
From the very start.
God You are God,
Help me as I pray.
To recall You're still in control,
Every single day.
____________________________________________________________________________
I Used To Believe
I used to believe,
God could see me through.
Now that the tides changed,
I dont know what to do.
I used to trust God,
With all that I am.
Now I'm back,
To doubt again.
I used to have faith,
In what I couldnt see.
Now I question,
If God still hears me.
Life has me mixed up,
In what I used to believe.
My problems,
They do deceive.
So I still believe,
I just need a reminder or two.
Trusting again in God,
Is what I shall do.
Holly Johnson @ 2007 6.6.07
____________________________________________________________________________
(God Says) I Am Here Always
Child, you are willing,
The change once again begun.
You will be like Jesus,
When with you I am done.
But I know you're having,
Confusion in the present state.
It is why I come to you,
As you question your life mate.
I love your innocence,
And protect it I will.
One day he will come,
But wait a while until.
You are both ready,
And it will fall into place.
Just trust me,
Live in my grace.
Know your life,
It is not set.
Your dreams, child,
Will be met.
But you must trust,
In Me believe.
My blessings will follow,
As you receive.
I love you always,
How I made you is art.
I made you pure inside,
You have a great heart.
So child now,
As your life may change.
Trust Me to get you through it,
Even if it is strange.
I know the future seems,
To not be clear.
But I'm in control,
Do not fear.
I love you always,
Changes will come to pass.
As you live in My will,
Trust Me at last.
Thank you always,
Never forget today.
I am here always,
Just a prayer away.
Holly Johnson@ 2007 6.02.07
*NOTE: This is my 4th poem written as if God were speaking to me. Lots of fun are these, and they always bring a special feeling to me when I read them out loud! Enjoy!
____________________________________________________________________________
It's All That I Need
The thing I can't do,
But I need once more.
It's a trust in God,
And all He has instore.
I need to trust,
When my world does fall apart.
And I need to believe,
Even with a broken heart.
The world has confused me,
I am left alone.
Sometimes I wish,
I could go home.
Heaven with Jesus,
The world is a scary place.
I must now,
Trust in Gods grace.
Its all I need,
This faith I don't hold.
So I will trust God,
And all I behold.
I am here,
God please.
I hold up my hands,
And in trust I receive.
Holly Johnson @ 2007 8.26.06
____________________________________________________________________________
Why Wait?
Why wait,
For tomorrow to come?
Get right with Him,
Before the day is done.
Life it seems,
Is spent where we are not.
Love God always,
No matter what.
But when we have fallen,
Come on back.
Do it now,
Get again on track.
God longs to love,
The ones He has made.
A real relationship,
To all He did save.
Don't rob yourself,
Of what could be.
Get right with Him,
So you can be free.
God wants us hot,
On fire for Him.
I wish that,
I wouldn't grow cold again.
So come on back,
Do it now.
Trust God knows,
The when and how.
Why wait for tomorrow,
What if it didn't come?
Get right with Him,
Before the day is done.
Copy @ Holly Johnson 2007 5.27.07
____________________________________________________________________________
Still Falling Apart
*SEE SIDE NOTE*
A year later,
How far we have come.
From a life so wonderful,
To one not always fun.
New kinds of stress,
And now its here.
This day I knew would yes,
Have me shed a tear.
I miss you grandma,
Every day that I am alive.
I want to sore now,
Its hard to strive.
I miss you today,
Because a year ago you left us.
Today I want to say,
Its you I miss.
Please grandma take it back
I want you back here.
But you are in heaven,
Free from pain and fear.
I want to cry,
And I want to live.
Please help me God,
To forgive.
I want to know that,
You are in a better place.
I want to know that,
You have seen Jesus' face.
Today I live,
Tonight I sleep.
Please Lord,
My grandma to keep.
For I miss her,
with all my heart.
Excuse the crying,
I'm still falling apart
Holly Johnson @ 2007 5.10.07
NOTE: I WROTE THIS ONE YEAR AFTER MY GRANDMA DIED! I MISS HER TERRIBLY AND A YEAR LATER ITS NOT EASY YET TO NOT RECALL HER WITH SADDNESS. I LOVE YOU GRANDMA ALWAYS!
____________________________________________________________________________
My Dream
Constant constant,
On my mind.
A thing I'm dealing with,
Isn't yet fine.
I need to know Lord,
What will come.
Will my dreams come true,
When all is said and done.
I love You God,
Your will is set.
But this issue,
Hasnt been met.
Help me Father,
To fulfill a dream.
I hope that,
It's not as it does seem.
I love to dream,
But impossible gets me down.
Help me to trust You God,
When I fall to the ground.
Then I will be,
A girl after You.
Please help me Lord,
In all that I do.
____________________________________________________________________________
Hamster Love
*VIEW SIDE NOTE AT END*
Today I met a hamster,
And I am just a dog.
Ever since I saw her,
I've been in a love fog.
I want to sniff her,
And also play.
Please mommy,
Let me stay.
I want to lick her,
And watch her play and run.
I've never seen a hamster,
But they're really fun.
I love the hamster,
But she doesn't love me.
I'm just a dog,
I can't see.
Why mommy why,
It's hamster love true.
I'm a dog,
Who doesnt know what to do.
Holly Johnson @ 2007 5.4.07
SIDE NOTE: This poem was written about my dog Rainbows now love for my new hamster named Tinkerbell. She constantly wants to see her, smell her, and watch her. She even gets upset when she sees her in the cage eating or playing. Its really funny! THIS IS DEDICATED TO THE ONE SHE LOVES!
___________________________________________________________________________
Help Me
Stupid problems,
Got in the way.
Took over,
Of what I did say.
Blaming God again,
I don't understand.
He didn't punish,
This was not His hand.
But I did it again,
Which makes me sad.
Why can't I except it,
Not be mad?
I don't like,
Who I am.
And how I,
Screwed up again.
Why do I allow,
Such a little thing.
Come between me,
And my Father God King?
It's a sad thing,
To believe that.
He'd punish me,
For a little bad act.
I don't know why,
I do that there.
Believe in God,
But think its unfair.
I treat God like,
My parents who raised me.
God isn't them,
Why can't I see?
So I know now,
I don't get Gods heart.
Again I screwed up,
Did that thing not smart.
Yet God loves me,
No matter what I do.
He will always,
See me through.
I'm afraid I guess,
But it's alright.
God I'm here,
Help me tonight.
___________________________________________________________________________
Don't Worry
My heart was troubled,
God made a plea.
Don't worry about tomorrow,
Give your worries to me.
I realized that,
This was a fact.
I do worry it seems,
It's how I do act.
I need to stop a minute,
Give my worry a break.
For its my heart,
Which is at stake.
God said don't worry,
Told me so clear.
I give Him my problems,
As I draw near.
God please,
Help me each time.
To not worry,
And give You problems of mine.
So I'll have peace,
To just go.
It's in the Bible,
Jesus told me so.
____________________________________________________________________________
I Still Believe (an Easter Poem!)
Three days ago,
Jesus did die.
The saddness I felt,
When I did cry.
Today we celebrate,
He rose from the grave.
And my soul,
He did save.
He is alive I can't deny,
That He did rise.
I believe with faith,
Which I havent seen with my eyes.
We celebrate Easter,
I know why.
We celebrate His resurrection,
Three days after He did die.
Thank you Jesus,
For what You did do.
For death and resurrection,
I still believe in You.
____________________________________________________________________________
Little Girl In The Mirror
Poor little girl,
Gazing at the mirror to see.
She's just a kid,
But she is just like me.
She does her hair,
She smoothes her clothes.
Consciousness of her weight,
Or her not so perfect nose.
In a world with super models,
The times have yet to change.
They put skinny into minds,
And make fat evil and strange.
If beauty lies,
In the eyes of the beholder.
Why can't these girls,
Be much bolder?
Girls and woman,
Meant for more than they are.
Built as if below men,
We need to raise the bar.
To show real is yourself,
It is who you are to be.
I should know,
This is still a lesson for me.
Dedicated to little girls everywhere who are growing up TOO FAST!
___________________________________________________________________________
I Want to Tell You
I know Jesus,
He is here in my heart.
But when it comes to telling others,
I just don't know where to start.
All I know,
And all I see.
I want Him to touch them,
Like He touched me.
Try as I must,
The words don't come out.
But I believe they will one day,
Without a doubt.
I could tell them of,
God's forever love.
How He made all we see,
And lives in Heaven above.
How we were made in His image,
Made to be free.
And witness how,
Christ changed me.
How we are all sinners,
But Jesus paid the price.
He died on a cruel cross,
So we wouldn't die twice.
Jesus is God's,
Only begotten Son.
Jesus calls all of us,
To just come.
Jesus took your sin,
I could say.
His blood is what,
Washed your sins away.
I could touch others,
With Jesus guiding me through.
And hope that when I come,
He will touch you.
How we can go to Heaven,
A gift if you just believe.
And into your heart,
Jesus you do receive.
So I will try it now,
I will try it perhaps today.
Even though I do not know,
What I will say.
I love to write,
I tell it true.
Now in person I must tell,
What Jesus did for you.
____________________________________________________________________________
Confused??
SEE SIDE NOTE AT END!
The word it stands in front of me,
Other things do too.
Like how he called me,
And every "I love you".
So I search my feelings,
Deep in my heart I go.
I talk to God alone,
Only He does know.
I know I love him,
But how is what I wonder now.
If we were to get together,
Only God would know how.
He is just a friend I say,
My heart it kids me not.
He will be my friend I say,
No matter what.
Does he like me,
So much shows true.
So to my dear heart I ask,
What should I do?
Is he the one for me,
Am the one for him?
Or will the tides turn,
And him remain just a friend?
Holly Johnson @ 2007 8.12.99
*NOTE*: This was written in 1999 to an old guy friend named Ben whom I thought at one point was "the one" and I thought he was more than a friend. He confused me and I stopped being friends with him.
___________________________________________________________________________
Heavy Heart
I had such,
A heavy heart.
I felt like,
I might fall apart.
So I prayed,
Jesus take my cares.
I believe that,
He who counts hairs.
Will keep me rested,
At peace now.
I gave them away,
That is how.
I had a lot on my mind,
So I prayed from the heart.
To my Father God,
So I wouldnt fall apart.
I need comfort,
As I live.
So to God,
My problems I give.
Here's my thing,
It's my quest.
I will always give God my problems,
And do my best.
___________________________________________________________________________
Torren
I live here,
But for the past I long.
I am torren it seems,
For that which is gone.
I can't live life,
Till I am in place.
Where do I live,
The past to erase.
I can live life,
In the torren part.
But to stay forever,
Will break my heart.
So I'll keep living,
Torren or not.
I must live separate,
No matter what.
Ignore the plea,
To live it all.
Know I am torren,
And I will fall.
So now I live,
But just try here.
Don't be torren,
To live for what I hold dear.
____________________________________________________________________________
Got In The Way
I am not happy,
But God I hid it from You.
I'm upset God,
At what You didn't do.
I asked for a need,
But I feel You forgot me.
Cause I still,
Just can't see.
Why You passed me by,
When I was faithful to pray.
Two days I let,
My feelings get in the way.
I trust You,
It's so hard now alone.
Is this the product,
Of what I have sewn?
I need to let go,
But instead.
I sit and wish,
I'd stayed in bed.
I need to let go,
Of the anger inside.
My feelings dear Lord,
I did hide.
Cause of a misunderstanding,
Of a broken heart.
Feels of forgetness,
I fall apart.
A prayer had been said,
Answered not though for me.
Why oh God,
Could it be?
You answered it in part,
But my half You did not.
How can I be happy for her,
When I wonder a lot.
God did You hear me,
Or did You forget?
A prayer I asked for,
Not yet met.
God I'm sorry,
I did not say.
My anger for You,
It got in the way.
___________________________________________________________________________
Trapped
I'm trapped in my problems,
Stress holds me tight.
I pray to God always,
Each day and night.
I need a rescue from,
The stress that binds me.
I long now,
To be free.
I need strength to go,
To live my life.
Please God I pray,
Less pain and strife.
Stress has me weak,
I'm trapped in the fight.
I'll try to win,
With all my might.
I need out now,
Stress leave me please.
God hear my plea,
As I pray on my knees.
___________________________________________________________________________
Wondering
Life isn't going well,
I stop to ask God why?
Do you hear me Father,
When I sit and cry?
I don't know why it is,
Or how it is to be.
Are you sure,
God still hears me?
I'm stuck here,
So strange where I stand.
I know I should trust God,
Even if I don't understand.
But I'm confused,
As with what to do.
God have I lost,
My faith in You?
Why do I still,
Pray with no reply?
God are you there,
As I sigh?
I'm still here,
Feeled with dismay.
Wondering if,
God still hears me when I pray.
____________________________________________________________________________
I'm Like an Isaelite
Here I go again,
Doing the same thing.
Forgetting Gods promises,
As if they don't mean a thing.
I am like the Israelites,I wonder in my desert of despair.
And forget all God has done,
Complaining life isn't fair.
I look to the sky,
Mana please feed.
I have problems,
God doesnt hear my need.
I'm turning to Moses,
Will I die of thirst?
I have no food no water,
I'm just cursed.
Remember the God of Abraham,
I am now there.
Trusting in the God of tomorrow,
Don't say it's unfair.
God only thinks good things,
He does not send pain.
In the past so faithful,
Also in the present the same.
Yet the moment I'm in trouble,
I pray but forget I've been fed.
God must hate me,
I wish I were dead.
Promises fall on me,
I need not ask why.
Trust God is working,
Know He hears me cry.
Why do I doubt,
Food will come.
That I'll have water,
When I'm undone.
I can cast my cares to Him,
Know He will come.
Trust Him always,
Even when its not fun.
Learn a lesson now,
That I must not forget.
My problems are with Him,
My prayers will be met.
___________________________________________________________________________
New Year
I sit here pondering,
All Lord I am in You.
You have been with me,
In all I've been through.
But how have I,
Fallen behind.
Even in this moment,
Which is mine.
I realize that,
My time is spent.
I can not recall,
Where it all went.
It's a new year,
So I will put #1.
To trust You Father,
Till life is done.
I will realize,
Not all new years resolutions come true.
But let me my God,
Never loose my faith in You.
___________________________________________________________________________
One True Friend (an old one I found from 2000!)
In this world,
Filled with people end to end.
But yet it is so hard,
To find one true friend.
Someone to spend time with,
To laugh and to cry.
No pretending to be what you aren't,
No need to even try.
Excepts you,
Through your good and bad.
Gives advice when you need it,
Listens when you are sad.
When all the world,
Walks out on you.
Your friend,
Will remain true.
Silly jokes,
Tears you cry.
Days go past,
Years go by.
Tells the truth,
You know you can trust all the time.
Cause if it isn't built on TRUST,
They make it not so fine.
If trust is broken,
You have to build again.
Some might give up trying this,
Not your true friend.
They won't talk bad of you,
When you aren't there.
They won't steal friends from you,
Cause they really care.
My heart is broken in two,
No one has tried to mend.
All that I ask for,
Is one true friend
___________________________________________________________________________
Crazy Crazy Crazy
My world gone wrong.
Like a mixed up record,
Repeating the same song.
Blaming God again,
What did He do?
Is He the real blame,
Of the crap I go through?
Worlds crashing in,
Dreams begin to die.
It seems like now,
All I can do is cry.
Bursting inside,
Is a breaking heart.
Crazy world,
I'm falling apart.
Stupid insanity,
Shattered all I hoped for.
Will my dreams,
Be no more?
Crazy crazy mess,
My world upside down.
I want to smile please,
All I can do is frown.
Dumb dumb problems,
Spinning out of control.
Why don't I feel Jesus,
Lover of my soul?
Earthquakes come now,
I dash to be ok.
And pray to God,
To not go away.
Tears flow freely,
World gone to dust.
I wish now God,
In You I had more trust.
Crazy crazy crazy,
Dreams come back.
Faith in God,
I do lack.
My world has crumbled,
I look to God above.
Please drench me God,
With Your everlasting love.
___________________________________________________________________________
So I Ponder
Will the flower bloom,
When the night is done?
How do I love a life,
That I have not yet begun?
Will the sun,
Rise from the hill?
How will I grow in faith,
And trust God still?
When will the rain,
Not pour from the sky?
Will I grow older,
With each day gone by?
Can a butterfly,
Come from a cocoon?
Will the world end,
And I'll see Jesus soon?
Will the stars always,
Shine from the night sky?
Does God actually record,
Each time I do cry?
Why is snow,
So white and pure?
From deadly diseases,
Will there be a cure?
Will the desert,
Always be dry?
So I've wondered,
Does time really fly?
How does a bird,
Use its wing?
Can an ant hear me,
If I sing?
Does the grass,
Grow without rain?
Why do I sometimes,
Feel insane?
How does a baby,
Grow in the womb?
Will I meet,
My husband soon?
Is a hurrican,
Like the tornado is?
Will I ever be,
In show biz?
So I've pondered a few,
Questions today.
This is all for now,
I can say.
____________________________________________________________________________
Birthday Not Here
NOTE: Poem Dedicated to my Grandma's 94 birthday. She died on May 10th 2006and never lived to see her birthday yesterday. MISS YOU ALWAYS!
It's your birthday,
But you aren't there.
Once again,
It seems unfair.
Last year you were happy,
Today we are sad.
On a birthday,
You should be glad.
Celebrate in heaven,
While we cry.
I want to ask God,
Why did you die?
Life has been sad,
Since you did pass.
When will I,
See you again at last?
Please know,
We think of you today.
It's still your birthday,
Even if you've passed away
____________________________________________________________________________
(GOD SAYS) I LOVE YOU STILL!
Side Note Here:
This Poem Is Written As If God Were Speaking! Its My Third of This Kind,and Writing Them Always Makes Me Cry! ENJOY!
Child of mine,
You've forgotten I care.
I hear you cry,
"Father? Are You there?"
I need you dear one,
To take My hand.
Please just trust Me,
Even if you don't understand.
Life is so scary,
In Me just believe.
And My love,
Please receive.
The life you live,
Has made you afraid.
Trust the Word,
And all I've made.
For you need Me,
More than you know.
Read the Bible,
It will tell you so.
Take My hand,
Just trust in Me.
Try to not believe,
All that you see.
Know I only,
Think good thoughts for you.
And I am there,
No matter what you go through.
The world may change child,
I am still there.
Please believe in My love,
And that I do care.
I can hold you close,
If you will just receive.
With My promises,
Please believe.
Child I ask you,
For the faith you have.
Please remember,
Don't be sad.
For I am here,
As I always will.
I'm your Father God in heaven,
And I love you still.
Copy @ Holly Johnson 8.20.06
___________________________________________________________________________
Is It Okay To Fail?
Lopesided smiles,
A little piggy tail.
Is it okay,
If sometimes we fail?
Life can't be,
A joy to behold.
I will be soon stronger,
So I'm told.
I feel like a mess,
But I do know why.
Is it ok now,
If I do cry?
Life is the water,
We must learn to swim.
Sometimes we must,
Relearn stuff again.
Cause we are here now,
Silly little thing we face.
Only as we live,
In Gods grace.
Special little moments,
Gone with time.
I still can't feel,
All is fine.
Mixed up world,
Broken little heart.
This is the time,
I fall apart.
Broken dreams,
Tears in the eye.
Why can't we live always,
And never die?
Broken down treehouses,
People I'll never meet.
When will I live,
And feel complete?
Upside down smiles,
Frowns I can see.
Are you sure,
God alway loves me?
Lopesided smiles,
A cute piggy tail.
Will life go on,
If I do fail?
ENJOY!!
____________________________________________________________________________
REACHED FOR YOU
I've reached out to touch it,
To hold it to my heart.
That which I still miss,
Makes me fall apart.
I was reminded today,
How again I do recall.
My grandma I love,
And miss most of all.
I find a piece of her,
Again it broke my heart.
This thing that I reached for,
Made me fall apart.
I love you so much,
Want to touch you again.
When will my true mourning,
Ever come to an end?
Will I always reach,
For you there now gone?
As if dear grandma,
You were there all along?
I love you I love you,
As I put down my hand.
To reach for you again,
Few can understand.
Holly Johnson@ 2008 3.01.08 --dedicated to my grandma died May 10th 2006
____________________________________________________________________________
I Fall
I try to get up,
But I just fall.
God do you hear me,
When I call?
Why does bad,
Seem to slap my face?
I thought I was living,
In Gods grace!
I sit here wondering,
Why the world is bleak?
Even if at night,
God I do seek.
I dont understand,
Did you not lead the way?
Why then again,
Does bad come again today?
I do not understand,
Why evil does come?
I try to get up,
I thought it was done.
But here I sit,
Knocked again to the ground.
It seems latelly,
This is where I am always found.
Sitting here wondering,
Why God does not hear.
I try to trust Him,
And draw near.
But problems come,
No good does follow.
I dont feel Gods love,
I feel hollow.
I cant understand it,
This life He allows me to lead.
If God You will not,
Grow the plants You seed.
I sit here waiting,
To try again.
Wondering when,
My tumbles will end.
I fall down slowly,
Or fast with time.
Wondering why,
These problems are mine.
I cant seem to find a way,
To stay in place.
Or to get back in,
Gods good grace.
Maybe I am still there,
Shouting God did you leave?
Not knowing it was when I realized this,
I did receive.
God please come,
Here my cry.
Dont let the problems,
Pass me by.
For if I fall,
And You do come instead.
I will lead a life,
Not so full of dread.
I beg you now,
Father do hear.
Please see me now,
As I once again shed a tear.
Holly Johnson @ 2007 10.13.07
____________________________________________________________________________
Should I Be?
NOTE AT END!!!!!
Should I Be Happy
You walk streets of gold
Or so I read in the bible
And others have told
Should I be glad
You arent in pain
Even if loosing you
Left me never the same
Should I be rejoicing
You are with those gone before
You see all we cant see
And all that is instore
Should I be smiling
You are in a better place
Even if by loosing you
I long to see your face
Should I be jumping for joy
Knowing you are celebrating there
Even if right now I still think
Loosing you wasnt fair
Should I be laughing now
Knowning you arent sad
Why then do I still feel
Ever not so glad
Should I be happy now
Should I be smiling cheek to cheek
No I am not doing this
Its my sorrow that I seek
For I know in heaven God
She is there with You
But I miss her truly
No matter what I go through
I cant be happy now
I cant smile with glee
I still recall that
My grandma left me
I cant be happy yet
Though sorrow seems to hold me tight
I wish I could see her again
Any given night
Please God take care of her
I love her so very much
Miss her I do truly
The grandma I can no longer touch
Holly Johnson @ 2007 9.28.07
NOTE: My grandma died May 10, 2006 and her birthday would have been tomorrow/today September 29th she should have been 94 yrs old. I still miss her every day and these two dates always affect me the most!!
____________________________________________________________________________
It Happened One Tuesday (911 6 yrs later)
It happened on a Tuesday
Just 6 yrs ago go by
But even now the numbers 9/11
Could make anyone cry
For who can forgot those images
As the towers did fall
When the pentagon was hit
It affected us all
Our nation did stop
When the terrorist hit
Soil on our land
Where the towers did sit
But we knew we could survive
The terrorist didnt take what we are
Even today you dont
Have to look too far
We are strong we are bold
And as a nation we stand
As we recall 6yrs ago one Tuesday
When terrorist hit us on our land
God bless America
Never forget that day
It happened one Tuesday
When they tried to take our spirit away
Holly Johnson @ 2007 9.11.07
____________________________________________________________________________
Do You Hear Me?
All is bad
I do not understand
Why is my life
A big batch of quicksand
God are you there
Why do you not reply
Do you even care
That I cant do nothing by cry
Why is life hard now
Is this a path of dispair
God do you hear me
Its so unfair
Nothing is right
All is gone bad
Cant I have happy
I am just so sad
God I am upset
Because You seem to have led
Now nothing is right
We have suffering instead
Or is this a sign
That we are on the right way
And you will help us soon
One soon day
I dont know which it is
Or what is to be
I cant believe that
You dont hear me
All is gone a wrong
I am crying so bad
My heart is breaking
I just cant be glad
Where is the happiness
Why is it bleak
This is a problem
That I do seek
God are You there
Why do You not reply
Nothing is good
Days gone by
Please help me now
I am confused as can be
God please let me know
That you still hear me
____________________________________________________________________________
Why Look Down?
Why when I'm sad,
Do I look down?
As if the answers,
Can be found on the ground.
When instead I should,
Look to God above.
Keep my eyes on Jesus,
My Savior that I love.
When it matters most,
I'm filled with dread.
I need to not worry,
Trust in God instead.
Its so easy to say,
God I trust You.
But when times are bad,
It's not what I do.
Look down,
Why do I do that?
The ground isn't where,
My answers are at.
I sit and I question,
Life that I live.
Sometimes I think,
How does God forgive?
I keep falling,
Look down at my feet.
Instead of looking at the ground,
I think of defeat.
God wants me to,
Look to Him always.
To trust Him,
The rest of my days.
Please God I now pray,
As trouble comes once more.
Let me look to You,
And not at the floor.
Holly Johnson @ 2007 7.24.07
____________________________________________________________________________
I'm a Mess!
I'm far from perfect,
Can you still use me?
A broken sinful person,
Who You made free.
How can I love God,
Be used in life.
When I still sin sometimes,
And give into worry and strife.
I'm a messed up person,
Who has no pride.
God knows this all,
I have nothing to hide.
I hate how I am,
Why can't I be whole.
I want to say,
Jesus is lover of my soul.
But I'm a mess,
I have a long way to go.
How long it will take,
Only God does know.
All I know is this,
I'm still a mess.
So I'll try to trust God again,
Let Him do the rest.
For in this life of confusion,
Being a Christian is an art.
Its working till we get to heaven,
And having the right heart.
So though I am a mess,
I've admitted it true.
I shall still try to trust God,
In all that I do.
God help me,
Help me be like Your Son.
I believe You shall finish,
What in me You have begun.
Because I trust the God who sees tomorrow,
Thinks only good things for me.
I am a mess,
But You've set me free.
Help me always, Lord.
To keep my eyes on You.
And trust You with all my heart,
No matter what I go through.
Holly Johnson @ 2007 6.23.07
____________________________________________________________________________
In Prayer
God You see it all,
From heaven on high.
My problems are nothing,
You see me cry.
How could I forget,
Its in Your hand.
Even if now,
I can't understand.
You are God,
I am not.
Be still before You now,
No matter what.
I need to realize,
How what I see.
Is not the end,
Of what You do in me.
Please keep me humble,
As I now pray.
Help me to be closer to You,
Every single day.
And know that,
You're in control.
Jesus You are,
The lover of my soul.
Life got me down,
Confused as I did pray.
I didnt think,
You could make a way.
But Father God,
My problems end to end.
You are in control,
Cause You're my Father & friend.
I need to not question,
That this will pass.
And my dreams,
Will come true at last.
Make You number one,
Seek You with all my heart.
Do trust You,
From the very start.
God You are God,
Help me as I pray.
To recall You're still in control,
Every single day.
____________________________________________________________________________
I Used To Believe
I used to believe,
God could see me through.
Now that the tides changed,
I dont know what to do.
I used to trust God,
With all that I am.
Now I'm back,
To doubt again.
I used to have faith,
In what I couldnt see.
Now I question,
If God still hears me.
Life has me mixed up,
In what I used to believe.
My problems,
They do deceive.
So I still believe,
I just need a reminder or two.
Trusting again in God,
Is what I shall do.
Holly Johnson @ 2007 6.6.07
____________________________________________________________________________
(God Says) I Am Here Always
Child, you are willing,
The change once again begun.
You will be like Jesus,
When with you I am done.
But I know you're having,
Confusion in the present state.
It is why I come to you,
As you question your life mate.
I love your innocence,
And protect it I will.
One day he will come,
But wait a while until.
You are both ready,
And it will fall into place.
Just trust me,
Live in my grace.
Know your life,
It is not set.
Your dreams, child,
Will be met.
But you must trust,
In Me believe.
My blessings will follow,
As you receive.
I love you always,
How I made you is art.
I made you pure inside,
You have a great heart.
So child now,
As your life may change.
Trust Me to get you through it,
Even if it is strange.
I know the future seems,
To not be clear.
But I'm in control,
Do not fear.
I love you always,
Changes will come to pass.
As you live in My will,
Trust Me at last.
Thank you always,
Never forget today.
I am here always,
Just a prayer away.
Holly Johnson@ 2007 6.02.07
*NOTE: This is my 4th poem written as if God were speaking to me. Lots of fun are these, and they always bring a special feeling to me when I read them out loud! Enjoy!
____________________________________________________________________________
It's All That I Need
The thing I can't do,
But I need once more.
It's a trust in God,
And all He has instore.
I need to trust,
When my world does fall apart.
And I need to believe,
Even with a broken heart.
The world has confused me,
I am left alone.
Sometimes I wish,
I could go home.
Heaven with Jesus,
The world is a scary place.
I must now,
Trust in Gods grace.
Its all I need,
This faith I don't hold.
So I will trust God,
And all I behold.
I am here,
God please.
I hold up my hands,
And in trust I receive.
Holly Johnson @ 2007 8.26.06
____________________________________________________________________________
Why Wait?
Why wait,
For tomorrow to come?
Get right with Him,
Before the day is done.
Life it seems,
Is spent where we are not.
Love God always,
No matter what.
But when we have fallen,
Come on back.
Do it now,
Get again on track.
God longs to love,
The ones He has made.
A real relationship,
To all He did save.
Don't rob yourself,
Of what could be.
Get right with Him,
So you can be free.
God wants us hot,
On fire for Him.
I wish that,
I wouldn't grow cold again.
So come on back,
Do it now.
Trust God knows,
The when and how.
Why wait for tomorrow,
What if it didn't come?
Get right with Him,
Before the day is done.
Copy @ Holly Johnson 2007 5.27.07
____________________________________________________________________________
Still Falling Apart
*SEE SIDE NOTE*
A year later,
How far we have come.
From a life so wonderful,
To one not always fun.
New kinds of stress,
And now its here.
This day I knew would yes,
Have me shed a tear.
I miss you grandma,
Every day that I am alive.
I want to sore now,
Its hard to strive.
I miss you today,
Because a year ago you left us.
Today I want to say,
Its you I miss.
Please grandma take it back
I want you back here.
But you are in heaven,
Free from pain and fear.
I want to cry,
And I want to live.
Please help me God,
To forgive.
I want to know that,
You are in a better place.
I want to know that,
You have seen Jesus' face.
Today I live,
Tonight I sleep.
Please Lord,
My grandma to keep.
For I miss her,
with all my heart.
Excuse the crying,
I'm still falling apart
Holly Johnson @ 2007 5.10.07
NOTE: I WROTE THIS ONE YEAR AFTER MY GRANDMA DIED! I MISS HER TERRIBLY AND A YEAR LATER ITS NOT EASY YET TO NOT RECALL HER WITH SADDNESS. I LOVE YOU GRANDMA ALWAYS!
____________________________________________________________________________
My Dream
Constant constant,
On my mind.
A thing I'm dealing with,
Isn't yet fine.
I need to know Lord,
What will come.
Will my dreams come true,
When all is said and done.
I love You God,
Your will is set.
But this issue,
Hasnt been met.
Help me Father,
To fulfill a dream.
I hope that,
It's not as it does seem.
I love to dream,
But impossible gets me down.
Help me to trust You God,
When I fall to the ground.
Then I will be,
A girl after You.
Please help me Lord,
In all that I do.
____________________________________________________________________________
Hamster Love
*VIEW SIDE NOTE AT END*
Today I met a hamster,
And I am just a dog.
Ever since I saw her,
I've been in a love fog.
I want to sniff her,
And also play.
Please mommy,
Let me stay.
I want to lick her,
And watch her play and run.
I've never seen a hamster,
But they're really fun.
I love the hamster,
But she doesn't love me.
I'm just a dog,
I can't see.
Why mommy why,
It's hamster love true.
I'm a dog,
Who doesnt know what to do.
Holly Johnson @ 2007 5.4.07
SIDE NOTE: This poem was written about my dog Rainbows now love for my new hamster named Tinkerbell. She constantly wants to see her, smell her, and watch her. She even gets upset when she sees her in the cage eating or playing. Its really funny! THIS IS DEDICATED TO THE ONE SHE LOVES!
___________________________________________________________________________
Help Me
Stupid problems,
Got in the way.
Took over,
Of what I did say.
Blaming God again,
I don't understand.
He didn't punish,
This was not His hand.
But I did it again,
Which makes me sad.
Why can't I except it,
Not be mad?
I don't like,
Who I am.
And how I,
Screwed up again.
Why do I allow,
Such a little thing.
Come between me,
And my Father God King?
It's a sad thing,
To believe that.
He'd punish me,
For a little bad act.
I don't know why,
I do that there.
Believe in God,
But think its unfair.
I treat God like,
My parents who raised me.
God isn't them,
Why can't I see?
So I know now,
I don't get Gods heart.
Again I screwed up,
Did that thing not smart.
Yet God loves me,
No matter what I do.
He will always,
See me through.
I'm afraid I guess,
But it's alright.
God I'm here,
Help me tonight.
___________________________________________________________________________
Don't Worry
My heart was troubled,
God made a plea.
Don't worry about tomorrow,
Give your worries to me.
I realized that,
This was a fact.
I do worry it seems,
It's how I do act.
I need to stop a minute,
Give my worry a break.
For its my heart,
Which is at stake.
God said don't worry,
Told me so clear.
I give Him my problems,
As I draw near.
God please,
Help me each time.
To not worry,
And give You problems of mine.
So I'll have peace,
To just go.
It's in the Bible,
Jesus told me so.
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I Still Believe (an Easter Poem!)
Three days ago,
Jesus did die.
The saddness I felt,
When I did cry.
Today we celebrate,
He rose from the grave.
And my soul,
He did save.
He is alive I can't deny,
That He did rise.
I believe with faith,
Which I havent seen with my eyes.
We celebrate Easter,
I know why.
We celebrate His resurrection,
Three days after He did die.
Thank you Jesus,
For what You did do.
For death and resurrection,
I still believe in You.
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Little Girl In The Mirror
Poor little girl,
Gazing at the mirror to see.
She's just a kid,
But she is just like me.
She does her hair,
She smoothes her clothes.
Consciousness of her weight,
Or her not so perfect nose.
In a world with super models,
The times have yet to change.
They put skinny into minds,
And make fat evil and strange.
If beauty lies,
In the eyes of the beholder.
Why can't these girls,
Be much bolder?
Girls and woman,
Meant for more than they are.
Built as if below men,
We need to raise the bar.
To show real is yourself,
It is who you are to be.
I should know,
This is still a lesson for me.
Dedicated to little girls everywhere who are growing up TOO FAST!
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I Want to Tell You
I know Jesus,
He is here in my heart.
But when it comes to telling others,
I just don't know where to start.
All I know,
And all I see.
I want Him to touch them,
Like He touched me.
Try as I must,
The words don't come out.
But I believe they will one day,
Without a doubt.
I could tell them of,
God's forever love.
How He made all we see,
And lives in Heaven above.
How we were made in His image,
Made to be free.
And witness how,
Christ changed me.
How we are all sinners,
But Jesus paid the price.
He died on a cruel cross,
So we wouldn't die twice.
Jesus is God's,
Only begotten Son.
Jesus calls all of us,
To just come.
Jesus took your sin,
I could say.
His blood is what,
Washed your sins away.
I could touch others,
With Jesus guiding me through.
And hope that when I come,
He will touch you.
How we can go to Heaven,
A gift if you just believe.
And into your heart,
Jesus you do receive.
So I will try it now,
I will try it perhaps today.
Even though I do not know,
What I will say.
I love to write,
I tell it true.
Now in person I must tell,
What Jesus did for you.
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Confused??
SEE SIDE NOTE AT END!
The word it stands in front of me,
Other things do too.
Like how he called me,
And every "I love you".
So I search my feelings,
Deep in my heart I go.
I talk to God alone,
Only He does know.
I know I love him,
But how is what I wonder now.
If we were to get together,
Only God would know how.
He is just a friend I say,
My heart it kids me not.
He will be my friend I say,
No matter what.
Does he like me,
So much shows true.
So to my dear heart I ask,
What should I do?
Is he the one for me,
Am the one for him?
Or will the tides turn,
And him remain just a friend?
Holly Johnson @ 2007 8.12.99
*NOTE*: This was written in 1999 to an old guy friend named Ben whom I thought at one point was "the one" and I thought he was more than a friend. He confused me and I stopped being friends with him.
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Heavy Heart
I had such,
A heavy heart.
I felt like,
I might fall apart.
So I prayed,
Jesus take my cares.
I believe that,
He who counts hairs.
Will keep me rested,
At peace now.
I gave them away,
That is how.
I had a lot on my mind,
So I prayed from the heart.
To my Father God,
So I wouldnt fall apart.
I need comfort,
As I live.
So to God,
My problems I give.
Here's my thing,
It's my quest.
I will always give God my problems,
And do my best.
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Torren
I live here,
But for the past I long.
I am torren it seems,
For that which is gone.
I can't live life,
Till I am in place.
Where do I live,
The past to erase.
I can live life,
In the torren part.
But to stay forever,
Will break my heart.
So I'll keep living,
Torren or not.
I must live separate,
No matter what.
Ignore the plea,
To live it all.
Know I am torren,
And I will fall.
So now I live,
But just try here.
Don't be torren,
To live for what I hold dear.
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Got In The Way
I am not happy,
But God I hid it from You.
I'm upset God,
At what You didn't do.
I asked for a need,
But I feel You forgot me.
Cause I still,
Just can't see.
Why You passed me by,
When I was faithful to pray.
Two days I let,
My feelings get in the way.
I trust You,
It's so hard now alone.
Is this the product,
Of what I have sewn?
I need to let go,
But instead.
I sit and wish,
I'd stayed in bed.
I need to let go,
Of the anger inside.
My feelings dear Lord,
I did hide.
Cause of a misunderstanding,
Of a broken heart.
Feels of forgetness,
I fall apart.
A prayer had been said,
Answered not though for me.
Why oh God,
Could it be?
You answered it in part,
But my half You did not.
How can I be happy for her,
When I wonder a lot.
God did You hear me,
Or did You forget?
A prayer I asked for,
Not yet met.
God I'm sorry,
I did not say.
My anger for You,
It got in the way.
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Trapped
I'm trapped in my problems,
Stress holds me tight.
I pray to God always,
Each day and night.
I need a rescue from,
The stress that binds me.
I long now,
To be free.
I need strength to go,
To live my life.
Please God I pray,
Less pain and strife.
Stress has me weak,
I'm trapped in the fight.
I'll try to win,
With all my might.
I need out now,
Stress leave me please.
God hear my plea,
As I pray on my knees.
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Wondering
Life isn't going well,
I stop to ask God why?
Do you hear me Father,
When I sit and cry?
I don't know why it is,
Or how it is to be.
Are you sure,
God still hears me?
I'm stuck here,
So strange where I stand.
I know I should trust God,
Even if I don't understand.
But I'm confused,
As with what to do.
God have I lost,
My faith in You?
Why do I still,
Pray with no reply?
God are you there,
As I sigh?
I'm still here,
Feeled with dismay.
Wondering if,
God still hears me when I pray.
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I'm Like an Isaelite
Here I go again,
Doing the same thing.
Forgetting Gods promises,
As if they don't mean a thing.
I am like the Israelites,I wonder in my desert of despair.
And forget all God has done,
Complaining life isn't fair.
I look to the sky,
Mana please feed.
I have problems,
God doesnt hear my need.
I'm turning to Moses,
Will I die of thirst?
I have no food no water,
I'm just cursed.
Remember the God of Abraham,
I am now there.
Trusting in the God of tomorrow,
Don't say it's unfair.
God only thinks good things,
He does not send pain.
In the past so faithful,
Also in the present the same.
Yet the moment I'm in trouble,
I pray but forget I've been fed.
God must hate me,
I wish I were dead.
Promises fall on me,
I need not ask why.
Trust God is working,
Know He hears me cry.
Why do I doubt,
Food will come.
That I'll have water,
When I'm undone.
I can cast my cares to Him,
Know He will come.
Trust Him always,
Even when its not fun.
Learn a lesson now,
That I must not forget.
My problems are with Him,
My prayers will be met.
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New Year
I sit here pondering,
All Lord I am in You.
You have been with me,
In all I've been through.
But how have I,
Fallen behind.
Even in this moment,
Which is mine.
I realize that,
My time is spent.
I can not recall,
Where it all went.
It's a new year,
So I will put #1.
To trust You Father,
Till life is done.
I will realize,
Not all new years resolutions come true.
But let me my God,
Never loose my faith in You.
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One True Friend (an old one I found from 2000!)
In this world,
Filled with people end to end.
But yet it is so hard,
To find one true friend.
Someone to spend time with,
To laugh and to cry.
No pretending to be what you aren't,
No need to even try.
Excepts you,
Through your good and bad.
Gives advice when you need it,
Listens when you are sad.
When all the world,
Walks out on you.
Your friend,
Will remain true.
Silly jokes,
Tears you cry.
Days go past,
Years go by.
Tells the truth,
You know you can trust all the time.
Cause if it isn't built on TRUST,
They make it not so fine.
If trust is broken,
You have to build again.
Some might give up trying this,
Not your true friend.
They won't talk bad of you,
When you aren't there.
They won't steal friends from you,
Cause they really care.
My heart is broken in two,
No one has tried to mend.
All that I ask for,
Is one true friend
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Crazy Crazy Crazy
My world gone wrong.
Like a mixed up record,
Repeating the same song.
Blaming God again,
What did He do?
Is He the real blame,
Of the crap I go through?
Worlds crashing in,
Dreams begin to die.
It seems like now,
All I can do is cry.
Bursting inside,
Is a breaking heart.
Crazy world,
I'm falling apart.
Stupid insanity,
Shattered all I hoped for.
Will my dreams,
Be no more?
Crazy crazy mess,
My world upside down.
I want to smile please,
All I can do is frown.
Dumb dumb problems,
Spinning out of control.
Why don't I feel Jesus,
Lover of my soul?
Earthquakes come now,
I dash to be ok.
And pray to God,
To not go away.
Tears flow freely,
World gone to dust.
I wish now God,
In You I had more trust.
Crazy crazy crazy,
Dreams come back.
Faith in God,
I do lack.
My world has crumbled,
I look to God above.
Please drench me God,
With Your everlasting love.
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So I Ponder
Will the flower bloom,
When the night is done?
How do I love a life,
That I have not yet begun?
Will the sun,
Rise from the hill?
How will I grow in faith,
And trust God still?
When will the rain,
Not pour from the sky?
Will I grow older,
With each day gone by?
Can a butterfly,
Come from a cocoon?
Will the world end,
And I'll see Jesus soon?
Will the stars always,
Shine from the night sky?
Does God actually record,
Each time I do cry?
Why is snow,
So white and pure?
From deadly diseases,
Will there be a cure?
Will the desert,
Always be dry?
So I've wondered,
Does time really fly?
How does a bird,
Use its wing?
Can an ant hear me,
If I sing?
Does the grass,
Grow without rain?
Why do I sometimes,
Feel insane?
How does a baby,
Grow in the womb?
Will I meet,
My husband soon?
Is a hurrican,
Like the tornado is?
Will I ever be,
In show biz?
So I've pondered a few,
Questions today.
This is all for now,
I can say.
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Birthday Not Here
NOTE: Poem Dedicated to my Grandma's 94 birthday. She died on May 10th 2006and never lived to see her birthday yesterday. MISS YOU ALWAYS!
It's your birthday,
But you aren't there.
Once again,
It seems unfair.
Last year you were happy,
Today we are sad.
On a birthday,
You should be glad.
Celebrate in heaven,
While we cry.
I want to ask God,
Why did you die?
Life has been sad,
Since you did pass.
When will I,
See you again at last?
Please know,
We think of you today.
It's still your birthday,
Even if you've passed away
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(GOD SAYS) I LOVE YOU STILL!
Side Note Here:
This Poem Is Written As If God Were Speaking! Its My Third of This Kind,and Writing Them Always Makes Me Cry! ENJOY!
Child of mine,
You've forgotten I care.
I hear you cry,
"Father? Are You there?"
I need you dear one,
To take My hand.
Please just trust Me,
Even if you don't understand.
Life is so scary,
In Me just believe.
And My love,
Please receive.
The life you live,
Has made you afraid.
Trust the Word,
And all I've made.
For you need Me,
More than you know.
Read the Bible,
It will tell you so.
Take My hand,
Just trust in Me.
Try to not believe,
All that you see.
Know I only,
Think good thoughts for you.
And I am there,
No matter what you go through.
The world may change child,
I am still there.
Please believe in My love,
And that I do care.
I can hold you close,
If you will just receive.
With My promises,
Please believe.
Child I ask you,
For the faith you have.
Please remember,
Don't be sad.
For I am here,
As I always will.
I'm your Father God in heaven,
And I love you still.
Copy @ Holly Johnson 8.20.06
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Is It Okay To Fail?
Lopesided smiles,
A little piggy tail.
Is it okay,
If sometimes we fail?
Life can't be,
A joy to behold.
I will be soon stronger,
So I'm told.
I feel like a mess,
But I do know why.
Is it ok now,
If I do cry?
Life is the water,
We must learn to swim.
Sometimes we must,
Relearn stuff again.
Cause we are here now,
Silly little thing we face.
Only as we live,
In Gods grace.
Special little moments,
Gone with time.
I still can't feel,
All is fine.
Mixed up world,
Broken little heart.
This is the time,
I fall apart.
Broken dreams,
Tears in the eye.
Why can't we live always,
And never die?
Broken down treehouses,
People I'll never meet.
When will I live,
And feel complete?
Upside down smiles,
Frowns I can see.
Are you sure,
God alway loves me?
Lopesided smiles,
A cute piggy tail.
Will life go on,
If I do fail?
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